Today's word...

...from Rella.

Me: "Are you ready for some lunch?"

Rella (who has been vegging in front of the tv all morning while I have been cleaning and disinfecting every nook and cranny of the master bathroom): "No.  Not yet.  You go downstairs and fix everything I like to eat for lunch and put it on my plate.  Then I will be hungry."

Back Story

Oh, the running back story.  Where to begin.  I guess it should begin with the phrase, "I can't run.  I have a bum hip from an old ballet injury." The bum hip is true - I do have an old ballet injury that tends to get aggravated.  As my daughter said to me today, "you have been on the earth a long time...you are old and getting broken."  This fall I truly felt this way.

I won't add my personal medical history to the Internet, but suffice it to say that I had some health issues this fall that resulted in lots of testing with little findings and the suggestion that perhaps my symptoms were, as The Golden Girls' Dorothy Sbornak would call, "functional."   Stress and anxiety were bringing me down.  Medication was an option, but that was not something I was ready to pursue.  Instead, I decided to give running a whirl.

I started on the Couch to 5K running program at the very first of the year.  It's a gradual, 9-week program that "eases" you into running.  I remember going out that first day with Geof and the kids to the local elementary school track.  The schedule for the week was to alternate between running 60 seconds and walking 90 seconds for a total of 20 minutes.  Halfway through I thought I was going to DIE.  It was so hard.  But I did it for two more days and moved on to the next week.  And the next week.  Building endurance little by little.  Geof and I were doing it together, and I so enjoyed our morning running dates.  I had some mild aches and pains and had to go slow to accommodate the hip pain, but I kept plodding along.  I got fitted for proper running shoes, got some great ear buds, learned about running socks, and actually looked forward to my runs.

Then I experienced tremendous hip pain.  It was so bad.  I was so mad. (Excuse me as I seem to have slipped into a kindergarden writing assignment.)  I had to take a whole week off just to recover and I was really upset about losing my hard work.  I tried taping it with KT tape, but really, how does one tape a hip?  Someone suggested that it might be my shoes.  I shrugged that off since I had been fitted for shoes, but then I thought, "why not?  I should have the shoes rechecked."  I was refitted with a neutral support shoe with inserts, and what do you know?  The next time I ran I had no pain.  And the next time.  And the next time.  The right shoes made all the difference.  It has been nearly 10 weeks since and still no running-related hip pain.

I did find other pains.  Years of wearing pointe shoes for ballet do no favors for a girl's feet (yes, my girls both take ballet), and as a result I do have a bunion.  But, years of wearing pointe shoes and living in a dancer's world gave me some knowledge of what to do about it.  The athletic/medical tape industry thanks me 3-4 times a week.

And then my knee started twinging and feeling a little weak.  Back to the roll of KT tape for some extra support and that problem is pretty well taken care of.  So, yes, three kinds of tape hold me together for my little weekly runs, but hey - I'm out there!

About halfway through the program my kids tracked out from school, and so my "free mornings" for running were no longer there.  Since Geof has a home office, he graciously took over kid duty 3 mornings a week so I could keep up my program without interruption. For me, these were the hump weeks of the program.  My endurance was being stretched and the runs were getting hard for this beginner who was now running alone.  I found, though, that this was a great time of training for me. I used the quiet time alone to listen to praise songs, and would literally find myself throwing my hands in the air during intervals, praising God for being just a step ahead of me, leading me on. 

One of my favorite excerpts, strategically placed in my playlist:

I was with you in the valley

And up upon that hill

So I take just one more step in front of you

For I am with you still, you still

And I will...

Shine on, shine on

And onto something new

It's long I know I do

I will remember you

Shine on, shine on

And let the others see

You got your victory

Will you remember me?

(excerpted from Shine On by Need to Breathe)

I would pray for my kids.  I would just think.  And, I would cringe and huff and puff and get cramps and get whacked in the face by branches and leap over fallen logs and avoid ugly geese at the lake and listen to random podcasts about fainting goats and learn to like Cliff bars and think about my old high school CC coach telling us that if we didn't dry heave at the end of a run, we didn't really run.  I got over the hump.

And so, on March 25, I officially completed the Couch to 5K training program.  Except for the week of hip recovery, I didn't miss a run or miss an interval.  I was so motivated and so stuck on my schedule.  I ran when  the program said run and I walked when it said walk.  If you know me, that's not like me at all.  But with this I have been craving my runs and craving doing exactly what the lady in my iPhone the C25K program outlined.

(These 2 show different time stamps.  By the end of the 9 weeks, I was using a Nike running app because I actually wanted to know how far I was running and keep track of my pace.  The C25K app didn't do that for me, but I would come home and run the  C25K app so I could "officially" mark off my accomplishment.)

My goal in this has been threefold:
1) improve my health naturally with low stress, diet and meaningful exercise.
2) run in the Raleigh Rocks 5K on April 9 without walking.
3) run in an 8K race in my hometown in May (without walking - we'll see about that)

So far, most of my health issues are now gone (I attribute this to the exercise, the new way of eating and a conscious effort to scale back on some of the things that I could often let overwhelm me).  I have also, as a result of a new way of eating and frequent exercise, been able to put on the few pounds that doctors have been telling me I've needed for the past couple years (got way down with mono and never got back up).  That has been kind of a mental challenge for me, but when I am generally feeling so much better, I can't really complain about shifting body weight.  I am learning to listen to my body and work with it, and I am so excited that I can actually reach these goals!  I seriously thought at the beginning of this whole journey that I would not follow through.

So, after our day in Charlotte we headed back up to Raleigh so I could drink lots of fluids and get to bed early.  I had my stuff all ready to go.

 iPod, KT tape, toe tapes, socks, cool rocker tank, bib, hair elastics, running socks, shoes, and running skirt with chapstick tucked in back pocket.

Ready to rock!

The 5K course around the RBC Center

One of my early morning cheer leaders

So there are just a handful of pictures of the run, but I remember it vividly and I felt great the whole time.  I felt prepared as I had run the 5K distance 3x/week for the past 2-3 weeks.  It was cool and drizzly weather, which was very nice.  During the event, I ran at a good pace and was able to increase my pace gradually and then kick it in a bit for the last mile. I ran past bands, ladies with strollers, children with their parents, walkers, and even a number of other runners.  The last quarter? Forget about it.  I was moovin'!  I know I gave it my all, because the dry heaves descended upon me once I crossed the finish.

By then end, this is what I was running for.

I don't know, perhaps I was playing air piano as I crossed?  

Note to self - next time you run, consider a spray tan.  Good grief!

 Spent.

My neighbor finished the race as well!  Good morning for red heads!

So that's it.  The cat's out of the bag, and I'm hooked on chasing it around for about 3 miles or so, 3-4 times a week.  I'm kind of facing a mental wall with this 8K distance.  I've gone the distance twice and had put in a few 4-milers, but it's getting hard.  I nearly choke over my words when I say I'm going to do an "easy 3 miles" most mornings.  Seriously?  3.5 months ago I could barely run for 60 seconds.  The couch was my friend.  And now running 3 miles several times a week is my new norm.  Crazy!  But going beyond the 5K is playing head games with me now.  The hump is back (and it brings with it congestion-inducing pollen and North Carolina heat and humidity!), and I might could use a little support and encouragement to meet this next distance goal.  I will get there, I know it.  This hump is just bigger and more time consuming and will make me dig really deep.  I'm learning not to be discouraged by minor set backs, that not every run is a good run, and that if I can just push through the rush and reward after I'm done is totally worth it.

And, ok, fine.  I'll admit that Justin Beiber is on my playlist, Baby.

See ya on the trails!

Stunning Photographs

So 2 weekends ago was a crazy weekend around here.  There was Hi-Hat's drum concert on Friday night, from which we left directly for a late-night arrival in Charlotte, NC.  Saturday morning we were scheduled for our long-awaited MckMama photo shoot.  Yay!  We had a fun afternoon visiting with friends and then had to hi-tail it back to Raleigh since I needed to be here Sunday morning.

Ready to see some stunning photography?

































Wait for it.
































Go fold some laundry.
































Or check the mail.

































Or run a 5K.































No wait.  Don't do that.

Because, ladies and gentlemen, I HAVE ALREADY DONE THAT FOR YOU!!!!!!!! 

TA-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

You heard/read/saw me correctly.  I ran a 5K 2 weeks ago.  I RAN A 5K 2 WEEKS AGO!!!!!

(and, ladies and gentlemen, I RAN the thing.  Ran it hard and strong and well. As Fancy cheered: "Go Mommy, Go! Finish strong and healthy!" ['cause I had explained that mommy would not be winning the race])

So are you shocked, surprised, and being revived by one of your children or a coworker?  I kind of am!  

Stay tuned for the back story coming up next.

Maxwell's Silver Hammer

The night before we left town for our family photo session in Charlotte, Hi-Hat had his first official drum recital.  Made for some tight weekend planning, but we got it all done!  Hi-Hat had been rehearsing for the recital for quite some time, though it was starting to seem like he switched songs every week.  First he was going to play Another One Bites the Dust, then City on Our Knees,  then What's the Frequency Kenneth, and them he and his instructor finally landed on Hi-Hat playing drums to Maxwell's Silver Hammer, accompanied by his instructor on piano.  Apparently this is a Beatles song - I had never heard of it.

Hi-Hat was funny leading up to this recital.  First of all, he was thrilled with the thought of being on a real stage with real stage lights (he has 2 of his own stage lights, but he was thinking Providence-style lights).  Second, he was thrilled about having a real audience.  Third, he was concerned about what to wear.  He had in mind to wear a black t-shirt, necktie, and his "Toby Mac-style" hat.  We never did find just the right tie, but he was pretty excited when I brought this t-shirt home.  Totally suits him.  As for the hat, Hi-Hat grew out of his favorite hat this winter.  He found a hat similar to this one pictured at Banana Republic several weeks ago, but I wasn't all that excited about making that purchase.  Target to the rescue!  He loves this hat and it is the new spring look for this guy.

You may get the impression that the main focus of this recital was Hi-Hat's attire.  Go ahead and keep that impression and have another look at my adorable drummer boy.

And another.

So we get to the actual recital, and it was so funny!  Hi-Hat's "stage" was actually a small drum kit set up in front of the main seating area in the church sanctuary - not even up on the stage.  He was expecting stage lights.  There were no stage lights.  There were 2 other drum students performing that evening, and each brought one guest with them to view the recital.  So that made for a huge crowd of 6 to watch the recital!

The two other students were high-schoolers, and despite the intimacy of the event, I could tell Hi-Hat's nerves were getting to him.  Not because of playing in front of us, but because he was in a group of boys twice his size and age.  He did seem awfully tiny that night.

The big guys played first and did a great job.  When it was Hi-Hat's turn he marched right on up, adjusted his throne (lowered it as far as it could go), lowered the snare drum, and counted off for his instructor.

Hi-Hat's piece was, admittedly, pretty simple.  He was so cute to watch, because I think he was very self conscious of how simple his recital piece was.  He may as well have been an owl the way he kept playing along while turning his head nearly 180-degrees away from the audience - keeping his beat while literally looking at those steps behind him and hiding his face.  

He would occasionally steal a glance at the big boys who had returned to the audience, but he would quickly look away and start looking behind him again.

I was actually impressed with his simple song, because it was the first time I had really heard him carry a constant beat and tempo for an extended period of time.  If you've heard Hi-Hat play, you may know that he can go all wild and crazy on the drums - switching tempos as the spirit moves him.  This performance was steady, clean and simple - very nice job.

How does one know that a Hi-Hat is concentrating? His tongue sticks out while he plays.

So when his piece was done, we thought that was going to be it, but Hi-Hat had previously arranged for a little "solo time" after Maxwell's Silver Hammer.  He then proceeded to go to town in a manner much more typical of his "play by ear and fly by the seat of your pants" style.  It was hilarious!  This time there was no turning his head away from the "crowd."  He was staring down those big high school guys the whole time, like "oh yeah, I have command of this thing."  So much for humility, but it was very funny to watch.  I could tell he was really nervous during his improv solo, but he got it done and the big guys gave him props.  Applause, applause for three great drummers!

I seriously believe we spent more time taking pre and post recital photos than we did listening to the guys play.

More on the Wheat

This is Laura, back on the blog and wanting to share just a little more about WHY we are doing the wheat project.  First, I want to note that we are not sharing about this new way of eating because we think it's best for you, dear reader, and that it's a one-size-fits-all approach to eating.  I believe everyone should make his or her own decisions regarding the resources they have, and while this seems like a very beneficial way to eat, we are not out to push it on anyone.  This is just what's working within our family right now, and it's been so important to us these last few weeks that we wanted to share it.

For well over a year, we have been struggling with digestive health issues with our youngest child.  It has been a wearing struggle and we have felt defeated over and over and over again, trying to move this child from diapers.  We have gone through cycle after cycle of constipation and medication, and the same general advice we were being given was not working.  Not one bit.  I was feeling desperate, because as a mom, I want to be able to fix and control  things in the life of my children that are not working.  These health issues were not something I could control or fix.  There have been days we could not leave the house because her situation was so bad.  During my ladies Bible study this year, I have been lifting my daughter up over and over for healing and wisdom for some solution.  I have literally been brought to my knees at times, begging for healing and answers.  God answered me in many ways.

He did not provide immediate healing or resolution - instead He is refining me to be more patient.  He used this season of life to show me treasures He has to offer me in His Word and through prayerful relationship. He put Godly friends in my path at the precise moments I needed them to be there.  I gave the problem over to Him, and almost immediately He is taking care of it.  A couple of instances stick out to me.

A little over a month ago at orchestra rehearsal (I am part of our church's orchestra), we were in the middle of rehearsing a song counting measures when a fellow flautist blurted out, "we are milling our own wheat now."  I kind of gave a, "oh, that's interesting, but what in the world are you talking about?" response, and then had to go back to counting measures.  We really didn't talk much about it that night other than her giving me a little bit of background on why they were making their own wheat products and a web site I should look up.  I told Geof about it that night, and within a day or so we were convinced that this was something we really needed to try.  I believe 100% that HB's mention of milling wheat was inspired by God.  She has told me that she has no idea why she blurted it out, but we both now believe it was an answer to many prayers that have been lifted up.  I am so grateful that God used her that way.

Around the same time that we started looking into the wheat, a sweet friend encouraged me to pray specifically for my daughter's issues.  Not a general prayer for healing and patience and wisdom, but prayers for nerves to be restored, for sphincters to be healed, for my daughter to have a desire to take control her her body; for her to make it "clean and dry" through preschool hours, and for her to be encouraged by specific peers who are trained.  I prayed specifically for her at specific times of the day and she and I prayed together for her body parts.  Now that she is experiencing healing, this little one understands that the healing has come from God because we can see that specific prayers were answered!  She sees that God is real and in our lives and that He wants us to share our everyday struggles and successes with Him.

Suffice it to say that within a few short weeks of specifically praying and adopting a new way of eating, my daughter's digestive issues are almost gone.  It seems there has been a healing of her system, her body parts AND of her desire to take control.  It has completely changed our daily life with her.  I want to emphasize that wheat and bread and gluten and honey and flax seed and yeast are NOT the focus of our daily lives around here.  I believe they have been used by God in our lives to bring us out of a desperate situation, and I just want to give Him the praise and glory for it, not the loaf of bread.  If anything, I feel like this whole experience has brought God more into the center of our household as we listen more intently for His will and we accept His endless offers of grace and healing.

My take away from all this?  We will continue to eat this way because we feel led to do it.  For now, it has been the answer for healing our daughter.  If you are experiencing any sort of struggle in your life, give it over to God.  Prayerfully seek a solution and listen for God's answer - be specific, because God is always specific! Get into His Word.  The answer may not be what you expect or even want to hear, but it is worth listening to if it comes from God.  It is within His plan for you and His will for your life.

And you can be sure the next time I sit down at the table to a slice of Geof's whole wheat bread, I will certainly be thanking God for it.

You Are What You Wheat

Laura has invited me to make a guest appearance on the blog - I (Geof) am very excited to be here.

So the science requirements for my math degrees were surprisingly limited and my understanding of biology and chemistry and basically limited to what I had to learn in high school to get a B, but I think it's a generally true statement that we really are what we eat, at least on some level.  In fact, it's really a miracle of creation that a tiny baby will turn into essentially the same shape regardless of whether she is fed broccoli or "chicken" nuggets.  All this to say we Hilemans have been becoming increasingly aware of what we are putting into our bodies lately.

I've been on a year-long journey of food-related discoveries, starting last Easter when I resolved to lose some weight by counting calories.  It worked - I lost 15 pounds for good - and I started paying a lot more attention to the caloric content of my foods, but I wasn't looking at much else.  Since then, we've continued learning about our foods and former foods, including the horrors of ammonia-rinsed beef filler, artificial dyes, excess sugar of most varieties, and just today - maybe the worst of them all - mechanically separated chicken.  But I'll let you google all that on your own - I'm here today to talk about the Great Bread Project of 2011.

In the past month, we have begun milling our own wheat and subsequently turning that milled wheat (a.k.a. flour) into our everyday bread.  Why would we do such a thing?  Ultimately, it boils down to a lot of circumstantial evidence and a gut feeling that this is just what happens to be the right thing for our family right now.  There's no definitive scientific study to point to that proves this is better, but I'll share a little bit of what I've learned.

{hard red wheat berries}

First, what white bread (and lots of wheat bread) isn't.  There are three parts to a wheat berry - the bran (outer covering, loaded with nutrients), the germ (the innermost embryo that turns into new wheat plants), and the endosperm (the biggest part of the berry, very little nutritional value).  White flour is made from the endosperm only.  In fact, lots of wheat flour is also made from just the endosperm and then either colored or mixed with just enough whole grain flour to change the appearance and texture.  Whole grain breads are made from the entire berry, but with three important exceptions.  First, the berries are pressed to remove all the oils that will spoil flour after a few days.  From what I understand, there's good stuff in that oil.  Second, the exposure of the flour to air will oxidize the nutrients and destroy the vast majority of the nutritional value before you even pick up the sack of flour (or loaf of baked bread) at the grocery store.  Finally, commercial milling is performed at such a high temperature that more of the nutritional value is destroyed.  The home mill retains this nutritional value.

Proponents of home-milling cite all sorts of health benefits.  These range from digestive help (faithful readers will know that 20 percent of our family has an issue in this department), warts vanishing, allergies and asthma being alleviated, and improved colon health.  I don't KNOW if any of this is true, but I've seen no evidence to suggest home-milling has any negative effects.  It's like Pascal's Wager with food - the non-zero probability that it might keep me from dying of colon cancer like my grandfather did 20 years before I was born is enough to make me want to give it a shot.

Oh and one more little thing that is actual for-real fact.  The FDA has standards for the maximum amount of rat dung and dead insects that are permitted to be in commercial flour.  Being able to look at the wheat before it's ground up is a nice little side benefit.

{new staples in our pantry - flaxseed, wheat germ, gluten, and popcorn!}

Which brings me to my main point.  I love bread.  My love for bread predates even my love for Laura.  As a teenager, I was always happy to help put away the leftover bread from the dinner table.  I don't know if any slices ever found their way back to the bread box.  And do you know what's even better than eating bread?  Smelling fresh-baked bread in your house 3 or 4 times per week.  Almost makes me sad that there's half a loaf left over on the counter and I won't need to make any tonight!

{know what you get when you run popcorn through the mill?  Cornmeal!}

One more soap box and then I'll conclude with some frequently asked questions.  For thousands of years, people have eaten foods in their natural forms.  But in the last hundred years, we've gotten really good at modifying foods to make them more convenient, uniform, longer-lasting, and - most importantly - cheaper to manufacture.  During this same time period, we've gotten fat and seen all sorts of conditions' incidence rise.  Could it be that this super-convenient food of the modern age just isn't all that great for us?  Think we're smart enough to know better?  50 years ago we thought smoking was probably ok.

If you've read this far, a few things you might be wondering ...


What kind of equipment do you need?
We bought a tabletop grain mill (about the size of a mixer and the same noise as a 747 landing on your head shop-vac.  We are also realists and knew we wouldn't keep at this if we had to knead the bread by hand, so I bought a very nice bread machine by Zojirushi.  It makes real bread, not the silly bucket-shaped breads people associate with bread machines.

Where do you get the grain?
It's not very accessible, but it's around.  Whole Foods actually sells it by the pound, but that's not really the best place to get it in bulk.  So far we've been getting it from a wholesaler with a storefront in Wake Forest (www.thegrainmillwf.com).  We may explore a co-op that gets quarterly deliveries from Montana - it's slightly cheaper but also slightly less convenient.

{our two 35-lb buckets of hard red and hard white wheat berries}

Do the kids like it?
Absolutely.  They love it.  And why shouldn't they - it's BETTER!

Is it cheaper?
It's cheaper than commercially-available whole grain artisan bread.  It's probably more expensive than WonderBread, but hope I've made the point that it's a different animal.  I haven't calculated the exact cost because I keep tinkering with my basic recipe but I think it's probably in the vicinity of $1.75 for a 1.5 pound loaf.  I am sweetening the bread with high-quality honey as opposed to sugar, which probably accounts for $0.50 of the cost.

Can I try a slice?
Of course!  Stop by anytime and I'll be glad to prepare you a slice.  My current favorite is lightly toasted with peanut butter.

Do you still eat normal food?
Of course.  If you have occasion to feed us, don't worry that we've turned into wheat-crazed weirdos (that's just me).  Just don't be offended if I turn down your mechanically separated chicken.

Have you realized any benefits yet?
Yes!  In the month we've been eating this bread, not a single one of the five of us has contracted colon cancer!  And actually, we've been seeing significant progress with the three year-old's situation.  There's no way to clearly attribute it to the bread, but it can't be hurting.

Do you make anything besides bread with this grain?
Yep!  We've made killer pancakes a couple of times, homemade crackers that tasted surprisingly like Wheat Thins, passable bagels, ground popcorn to use as cornmeal, cinnamon rolls, pizza dough, and one loaf of banana bread.  We are anxiously awaiting a 50 pound sack of soft white wheat so we can make some biscuits and cookies.

 {and Geof}